10 Things I’ve Discovered By Being True To Myself

After Monday’s reset I feel more prepared to take on life. In typical Thursday fashion, I am thinking out loud and want to take the time to share with you 10 things I’ve discovered by being true to myself.

I’ve spent lots and lots of time thinking that I should do this or should like that, but after awhile it gets really tiring and it prevents me from actually embracing and improving who I am as an individual. Here are some truths I’ve stumbled upon through lots of trial and error. Enjoy!

1. I don’t want to run a marathon

I’ve felt that since I write about running (not as much as of late) and run half marathons that the next logical step is to conquer a full marathon. I’m not saying never, but right now I have absolutely no interest in that beast. I always get to the end of a half and think “this would only be the halfway point of a full!” Then I eat lots of post-race food and am quite fine with my decision to cap it at 13.1 miles.

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2. Writing, reading, and exercise are my three favorite things

When I entered recovery, people would ask me what I like to do for fun or in my spare time. I literally had no answer for them. Watch TV? Wallow in my own misery? I wasn’t able to pinpoint things that made me happy and brought me a sense of fulfillment.

Now I have many answers to that question, but my top three are writing, reading, and exercise. They are more than hobbies–they’re NEEDS for me to live a full and happy life. Not only are they my favorite things to do, but they are all areas where I am expanding my career in order to live doing things that I love!

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3. I want to take over the world

Do you ever listen to your gut? Am I the only weird one who bases a lot of their decisions on that? Sometimes I take time to reflect on my life, its ups and downs, and where I am headed and something inside of me (gremlin/fairy/other tiny creature of your imagination) tells me that I am destined for GREAT things. When I actually choose to listen to that voice, I feel like I can take on anything and that the sky is the limit. These days I am choosing to listen more and more.

If you’re questioning yourself, read a book like The $100 Startup (affiliate). That’ll get you going in no time.

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4. My feelings are valid

This may seem like a no brainer to some people, but for a long, long time I didn’t know when I was feeling something, what that feeling was, or how to express it. I thought my feelings were bad and I should keep them away in a little room. When I realized that wasn’t the case, I didn’t know how to let them out appropriately and questioned why I even had them. “Life would be much easier without these stupid things.” Then I realized that that thinking is what started my substance abuse and that anything I feel is valid and true to me. That’s made it much easier to embrace those pesky feelings when they come up.

5. I need to drink decaf

I drank regular espresso and coffee for a long time. I told myself that most of the American population does it and that whenever I was in a slump I should drink more and I would be cured. I went through months of unpredictable reactions to caffeine, none of them pleasant. Maybe I should get decaf. NO ONE DRINKS DECAF. (Lots of people drink decaf). When I realized that I could still enjoy the taste without the insanity, my decision was made and I haven’t looked back.

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6. Sometimes I don’t love running

Buuuut sometimes I do. Running has been an incredible outlet for me, but sometimes I’m just not feeling it. I like a variety of workouts, so sometimes I put running on the back burner. I usually have some months of logging serious miles followed by a lot of time spent in the gym with HIIT workouts or strength training. It seems that this year the running has been sidelined for a bit longer than usual, but I know I’ll get back to it when I’m ready. (side note: when I proofread this I had typed “when I’m running.” Yes, I suppose that would mean I am back to it). I also want this shirt.

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7. I will never be perfect

Again, this may seem like a given, but it took me years to accept. I won’t ever be perfect, but I will always be enough and that’s perfect for me.

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8. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to

Along with taking over the world, I’ve realized that I’m an awesomely capable person. I am confident that I can do whatever I want as long as I can walk through the fear in getting there. I moved to Chicago with no job and only recent admin experience. In less than a year I have grown this blog, interned and then become employed teaching fitness classes, gotten my writing published in a variety of places, and become certified as a personal trainer. There may be more that I don’t give myself credit for, but I know for certain that that list is only going to keep growing.

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9. I only like wearing dresses when I have to

Man, girls look so cute in all their little day-to-day dresses. I thought maybe I should buy some too, but when I did they just sat in my closet. I just can’t wear them unless I’m going to an event where I have to. It requires so much mental energy for me. A dress means that then I have to think about accessories AND shoes AND hair AND makeup. Oh man, I’m tired. That being said, when I do have to wear a dress I thoroughly enjoy it; I just can’t do it on the reg.

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10. I get back what I put out into the world

Serious truth. When I want to isolate and hide inside my own protective bubble, no one comes to enrich my life. People will only reach out for so long and then I turn that into bitterness at how NO ONE LOVES ME and wind up less likely to open up to anyone else. I become self-obsessed and don’t treat other people very well.

HOWEVER, when I remember that we are all human beings trying to live this life, something changes. I am more tolerant, more giving, and less selfish. By treating others the way I want to be treated, the world becomes a better place. Helping out friends (or even strangers) brings us closer and means that they are there when I need them.

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Questions:

  • What’s one thing you’ve discovered by being true to yourself?
  • Do you like to wear dresses? (no gender discrimination here!)
  • What are three of your favorite things?
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29 Comments

  1. June 25, 2015 / 6:22 am

    Love you.
    And I drink decaf. It is the way to go because then you get to drink a LOT of coffee, which is delicious. Plus, you know, hydration and stuff.
    It makes me happier than you will ever know to see you becoming even more secure in who you are and who you know yourself to be. And you absofuckinglutely are right–you can and will take over the world. Just remember the little people who knew you back when 😀 See you in a few hours!
    Susie @ SuzLyfe recently posted…Why I Freaked Out + Approaching a Fork in the RoadMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:40 pm

      hahaha. I think I need to read motivational books every day to keep that outlook though…

  2. June 25, 2015 / 7:21 am

    This is a great post idea. It isn’t easy to be true to ourselves, so it’s pretty groundbreaking stuff when you realize that you can be! I think I definitely need to read that $100 Startup book, for realz. We’re very similar! I finally admitted that I don’t always love running, but sometimes I do. The three things I love doing are helping others, writing, and learning. I always hated school and now all I want to do is learn and go back to school (if only I could afford to) — so that’s one thing I have learned by being true to myself. I always got terrible grades and was a class clown, and I have no idea how that developed or why, but I definitely love to learn now!
    Erin recently posted…Lately I’ve Been… #TOLMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:39 pm

      Oh man I would love to just go to school forever too. THERE’S ALWAYS MORE TO LEARN.

  3. June 25, 2015 / 7:59 am

    Figuring out what I believe in when it comes to having a faith in a higher power has been a huge self-discovery for me as I grew up inundated with Christianity and it felt like it was shoved down my throat. It took a lot of courage for me to branch out and be like, you know what? Thanks, but no thanks. I was so scared that I’d become somebody’s prayer project or something. And yeah, that happened with a few people but for the most part my close friends and family accepted me and loved me for me. I hate wearing dresses, because I’m 5’7 and dresses and skirts are too short! Nobody wants to see Suzy’s hoo-ha. Well, Andrew does. But I’m thinking he prob doesn’t want to share.
    Suzy recently posted…Crossing the LinesMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:39 pm

      Hahaha thats great. I also have been coming to terms with my spirituality after being in recovery and being raised Catholic. It’s an interesting thing…

  4. June 25, 2015 / 8:34 am

    Reading, writing, and exercise are the only three things that keep me sane after recovery too (well, maybe cooking… when I’m not swearing at how hard the chicken is to chop or why the oven won’t heat up in time). They help calm me down and make me realize how strong, both mentally and physically, I can be. I also didn’t drink decaf for the longest time, but ever since I switched I can tell my anxiety/panic attacks have decreased. My sister may laugh at me because “decaf isn’t real coffee,” but if it still lets me enjoy my coffee while helping my health then who cares? I’m still working on realizing that my feelings are valid. But every time I open up to someone or express what I’m feeling, the results are always positive and not at all the horrible scenerios I make up in my head. People are meant to share with each other–both the good and bad–so that they can all leave their impacts in the world. Great post I could really relate to.
    Jess recently posted…Regaining Your HungerMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:35 pm

      I thought that about decaf too for a long time until I stopped caring what other people thought haha. Also it’s tough to be vulnerable, but hugely important. Thanks for reading!

  5. June 25, 2015 / 9:06 am

    Love all these realizations, girl <3 As strange as it may sound, I actually feel like recovery from my ED gave me such a better sense of who I am. I think it was just the excitement of finally feeling good after so long of feeling like sh*t that made me be a little more selfish and willing to indulge in my own thoughts and beliefs… ya know? I was so insecure growing up, and I definitely wasn't comfortable with who I was or the things I liked. Maybe a part of it is getting older as well, but I'm very much enjoying the new 'tude.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #136 .My Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:38 pm

      I do know. Completely. It’s a great feeling!

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:37 pm

      Thanks for reading!!

  6. June 25, 2015 / 9:17 am

    these are all great reminders, and i’m totally ordering that book! i love exercise, reading, and writing.. but so much more. i love how everyone is different! i love reading about your journey and appreciating my own. and i love a comfortable dress when i’m in that kind of mood 😉
    danielle saucy smith recently posted…Week of MEMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:37 pm

      Let me know what you think of it! It made me feel like I was invincible.

  7. June 25, 2015 / 1:24 pm

    Reading, being outdoors in the fresh air, and exercise are probably my three favorite things. Although I definitely have a love/hate relationship with exercise!
    I see your bookcase and I can totally relate. We have a huge armoir stacked full with rows and rows of books! When we moved a few months ago we had more boxes of books than anything else! I am just starting to force myself to move to kindle books because I just can’t bear the thought of moving more books next time! What’s your favorite?
    Lindsey recently posted…Summer Sweat ChallengeMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:37 pm

      I just can’t get away from real books! I need them in my life. I don’t know which is my favorite because I like so many different ones. Reading The Lord of The Rings Trilogy in high school ended up with me in reading glasses because I would read for like 8 hours at a time :/

  8. June 25, 2015 / 1:29 pm

    This post is so comforting. Thanks for sharing!

    There’s a fine line between what we want, and what we want people to think we want, and sometimes we get caught in the middle! I know I do sometimes. It makes you question yourself – do I really like running? Do I really like working out? My answer would be yes, and yes! But I’m with you, there are times when I hate it! But then again, that is just being true to myself, and there is nothing wrong with that, right? 🙂
    Princess recently posted…Let’s Hike the Pacific Crest TrailMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:34 pm

      Definitely not. Actually listening to what I want has been really important for me lately. Thanks for reading!

  9. June 25, 2015 / 3:18 pm

    That’s too funny Erin! That running T-Shirt put a smile on my face. 🙂 I too find myself loving running and hating running–all within the same week. Some days its the best thing ever and other days I feel like I’m running with bricks on my legs. I used to feel like I had to run all the time, even on those days that I didn’t want to… Recently I am learning to be more flexible and whimsical with my choices of exercise (biking, hula hooping, walking etc. ) Anyhow, I’m loving this new flexibility and that I’m not married to any particular mode of exercise. Thanks for sharing!

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 25, 2015 / 4:32 pm

      Thanks for reading! I try and just listen to what my body wants to do because then I know I will work hard at it!

  10. Mudita
    June 25, 2015 / 11:34 pm

    By being true to myself, I’ve learned to accept what I like, and also accept what I don’t like, even if I’m “supposed” to like those things I don’t like. It’s the way it goes, and it’s fine. My three favorites – walking outside, reading, and chatting with friends. Dresses- I like it, just don’t do it much. They don’t seem versatile enough.

    Yes, you are enough. In fact, you are good enough just the way you are. xoxo

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 29, 2015 / 3:36 pm

      Oh yeah I need to add being outside to my list!

  11. June 26, 2015 / 5:16 pm

    I’ve discovered that when I stay true to myself, I care way less about what people think of me! Sounds obvious, but took a while for me to not be self-conscious about my decisions (blogging, etc). I don’t have the desire to run a marathon, either!
    Jess @hellotofit recently posted…Strawberry peach oat smoothieMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 29, 2015 / 3:40 pm

      Sometimes it’s the most obvious things that are the hardest to internalize!

  12. June 26, 2015 / 6:29 pm

    I love wearing dresses!! My current favorite is a short black tank dress. Great for summer (104F yesterday). And for me they feel like perfect loungewear because there is no having to match top with bottoms. Throw on a dress and done for the evening. No hair or make-up required. Dressed up with heels for date night or dressed down with flip flops for dog walk on the greenbelt. As for marathons…zero desire to do one as well. Want to do a half ironman in October which will take way longer than a marathon. But the thought of running 26.2 miles. Bleh.
    Diana recently posted…Ice Breaker TriathlonMy Profile

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 29, 2015 / 3:41 pm

      Yeah I just can’t wrap my head around it. Sounds like you have this whole dress thing figured out 🙂

  13. Lindsay
    June 27, 2015 / 11:05 pm

    What’s one thing you’ve discovered by being true to yourself?
    I struggled with a severe eating disorder for almost 15 years. I started the process of getting into recovery in January 18 months ago. I have come such a long way, but I still have my struggles. I have to be so much more cautious then other people when it comes to food. On the other hand I have found like you that one of the things I really enjoy is exercise, it gets me through the day. While at the same time it is balancing act between getting in a great workout and going into a place of excessive exercise. I feel like people expect me to be recovered as I haven’t actively engaged in symptoms for 18 months but to be honest I still struggle and sometimes I hate having to say that out loud but now I am saying it I feel a sense of relief and my friends have started understanding where I truly am.
    Do you like to wear dresses? (no gender discrimination here!)
    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE dresses … I don’t know why there is just something so comfortable about them. I tend to get hot easily and when I am wearing a dress I just feel so much cooler and I don’t sweat all of the time. While I don’t wear dresses daily but I am always on the lookout for cute dresses.

    • erinsinsidejob
      June 29, 2015 / 3:43 pm

      I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. I remember talking to you before and you seem to have grown into yourself so much in such a short time. Keep up the great work and the honesty with others and yourself!

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