Last month I received a message letting me know that someone I used to know had been addicted to heroin for awhile. I don’t get as many messages like this as I used to — phone calls about friends dying from overdoses or emails about how to help a loved one with a substance problem. Because I’m not as closely intertwined with addiction after being clean for almost eight years, it was a story I wasn’t entirely prepared for. I worried about her family, I worried about her job, and most importantly I worried about her. I wondered what she… View Post

I’ve written several posts about being diagnosed with depression a couple years ago and how starting on an antidepressant helped me immensely. What I haven’t done is really detail my experience with it. When I first started taking my antidepressant (I take Lexapro), I scoured the internet to read stories of other people’s experiences. It’s something I continue to do after many years of doubting myself and my own feelings on things. Not the best trait, but a post for another day. I found very few positive reviews and loads upon loads of complaints and negative experiences. Thankfully I was… View Post

This month marks one year since I’ve been regularly attending Crossfit and strength workout classes. I love the progress I’ve made, the skills I’ve acquired, and the community I’ve joined. I feel more confident in a lot of areas and the past two weekends of moving around furniture with Neil has been tiring but also a piece of cake. What I haven’t learned to love is how it has changed my body. There’s a popular myth that lifting weights will make you bulky. The truth behind this myth is that women don’t have the testosterone levels that men do to… View Post

I learned this lesson in early recovery, but it’s really applicable for people at any stage in life. This is my experience with it. When I first entered recovery, I had lost just about everything. If I hadn’t lost it, I progressively did while in recovery simply because the consequences hadn’t quite caught up with me yet. It was hard for me to see how I was going to pull myself out of the hole I had found myself in. I watched and listened to people who had been in my place and saw everything they had accomplished since getting clean, but… View Post

I remember walking down the street with Neil one evening and pondering out loud if maybe I was having issues with depression again. This was sometime in late summer and the thought had crossed my mind because things were taking me just a little too long to get done. I asked him if he had noticed anything out of the ordinary and, upon reflection, he said not really. I rhetorically questioned if it would be harder for me to recognize a new wave of depression because my baseline for discomfort was SO high. My equilibrium was so askew because of what… View Post