Life Lately: September + October 2021 Recap
Hi all – long time no talk. In the past two months I’ve only published a handful of posts and honestly I think I needed the break. I mentioned in my August recap that I was dealing with some issues related to a recent postpartum depression diagnosis and in trying to get back to baseline I had to slow way down and work on the things that needed my attention right then. It’s really all I could do, even though I knew that I wanted and needed to get back to writing on here. We were also without daycare for 19 days when a kid there got COVID, then his daycare provider, then her husband a week later. Everyone is fine, but it was a bit of a struggle without any breaks for those 19 days. Mamas who do this regularly — you’re rockstars.
I take a million pictures, so choosing a non-overwhelming amount to span two months was a task in itself. At the beginning of September, we traveled as a family of four across the country to visit Neil’s brother’s family. I wasn’t nervous about traveling with Remy since she’s such a low maintenance baby, but how the flight would go with Miles was something that kept me up at night. I’m happy to report that we made it with minimal meltdowns and Miles was introduced to everyone’s favorite clownfish Nemo. It’s not something I would want to do regularly, but I’m glad we made the trip out there. If you’d be interested in a post about how I prepped for travel with a toddler and a baby, let me know!
It was great to see family and also have some extra hands when taking care of the kids. We only stayed for a few days, but we had a great time at the farmer’s market, the beach, and just hanging out at the house.
Remy has made big progress since we last talked. In August, she had started to pick her upper body off the floor more and more and since then, she’s mastered sitting without falling over, getting herself up on all fours, and just recently started to take her first “steps” in crawling. It’s amazing how preoccupied you can be with reaching milestones – especially when your child is premature/behind – and then once they happen all of those worries go away. She had her nine month checkup and although she is still under the growth curve, she’s happy and growing and we are ok with that. She’s still going to physical therapy, but we have decreased the visits to every other week and soon I’ll advocate for her to stop altogether because she’s doing so well.
I’ve been savoring the joy found in little moments with each of them – together and apart. Their sibling relationship is starting to blossom and it’s a really fun thing to watch. Remy is normally very quiet unless Miles is interacting with her, in which case she starts squawking at him like a bird. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes that I made these two little humans.
Since Remy is able to sit better, I’ve finally introduced solids and she is having a pretty good time with them. I’ll likely do a combo of purees and baby-led weaning like I did with Miles, but for right now we are starting strong with the purees so she can even understand what food is. I’ll give her a more solid food here and there like a piece of pancake or my pizza crust, but she still isn’t sure what to do with it and generally just throws it on the floor for Donut to eat. We are getting there, slowly but surely, and thing are moving right along.
Miles had his 2.5 year checkup and there wasn’t anything significant to note except that he went from the first to third percentile for weight. Not that I put a lot of weight on those scales, but it was nice to see him go up a bit because his eating habits are so sporadic.
For a little update on how I am doing, I’d say it ebbs and flows. Some days are good and some days I’m trying to push through crippling anxiety. My depression has all but lifted and we recently increased my Prozac dosage to see if it helps my anxiety levels. This anxiety is more than what I’ve lived with before and I feel it much more physically and viscerally than I’m used to. It’s racing thoughts, tight/heavy chest, shallow breathing, and really just not being able to be present in the moment as it feels like my fight or flight response is kicked into overdrive for no reason.
I spoke at the People’s Opioid Summit, which was a virtual summit to educate and raise awareness about the opioid epidemic. I love doing things like that, but I could barely function with the level of anxiety I had before it. It’s very frustrating because my logical mind knows there’s nothing to worry about, but it can’t seem to get that message to my feelings and my body. It went well, but I felt like I had an emotional hangover for a day or two after.
I’m happy that it’s fall and I’ve been trying to get out for walks or just sitting outside on the deck without the heat and humidity of the summers of the south. This is my favorite season and I’m looking forward to the holidays, decorating, and fall candles lighting up the walls. I’ve scaled back the intensity of my exercise for the moment and have been taking things day by day. I feel good things coming and I don’t feel quite as overwhelmed and out of control as I have over these past few months. Again, thank you guys for your patience and for coming back to this little corner of the internet to see how we are doing. If you want more frequent updates, make sure to follow me on Instagram where I share more real-time videos and things like Remy falling asleep sitting up and Miles dancing like a maniac. Thank you guys again – lots of love. 🙂