My personality sometimes makes it hard for me to accept things as they come.  When I want something, I want it right now.  My mom always said it was so hard to buy me presents for my birthday and Christmas because if I ever wanted something, I immediately bought it.

This also goes for things that are not material. When I started exercising, I wanted to have a perfectly fit body immediately.  This did not help my obsession with body image as I would get up every morning and examine myself in the mirror to see if I had magically become the most toned, least body fat percentage person possible. When I wasn’t, I would start increasing the exercise and decreasing the food.  No matter what I would do, I would always be disappointed.

When I started a new job I wanted to be the most important person there.  Don’t they know who I am?? I could never be satisfied with where I was at any given moment. When I started this blog, I did it primarily for myself, but then the impatience started to creep in.  I wanted to be the most followed blogger of ALL TIME. I needed everyone to read what I wrote as soon as I wrote it.

I have a hard time staying in the moment and being grateful for the things that I do have.  I find myself looking for something more or something better.  I lose track of the now and throw myself into the future which makes me feel stressed and anxious.  One of the many important things I have learned is that I am able to feel more peaceful when I live in today and am able to reflect on how much my life has changed for the better.

I tend to have a lot of patience with others. I don’t do this perfectly, but I try.  I have the least amount of patience with myself.  I use the word “should” when the word “could” is much more appropriate.  By saying that I “should” be doing something, I give myself the opportunity to berate myself if I don’t do it. “Should” also takes into account the perspectives of other people, which I may or may not share. When I lost my pharmacy career and eventually found a job as a receptionist, I couldn’t be happy with where I was because I felt like I “should” be doing something more with my life given my education.

Exchanging the word “could” for “should” opened a lot of doors for me. It allowed me to realize that I had a choice about things and to examine my own ideas and wants about life. Saying that I “could” removed a lot of guilt associated with not doing something.  Here are some examples:

The list goes on and on. “Should” didn’t allow me to make mistakes. “Could” allowed me to understand that I was human.

I am my harshest critic. I know I am not unique and I am not the only one this applies to. I challenge everyone to just pause and appreciate where you are today without any expectations.  Be patient with yourself.  You are right where you are supposed to be.