Feelings - Erin's Inside Job


Happy Thursday!

I don’t have any exciting recipes to post because even though Neil has been out of town most of this week, I have had too many errands before and after work to spend any quality time in the kitchen.  This morning I made it official and waited in the cold at Social Security to change my name.  Once I get that card, however, I will have the joy of changing every other possible thing which should be DELIGHTFUL!

I haven’t posted a workout in awhile and may do that soon, but today I wanted to talk about the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman.  Someone else expressed the same sentiment last night that I had been feeling as well, and since I sometimes have a hard time feeling feelings, I thought it would be appropriate to share.

Of course I am sad that he died, but it is sad when any person dies from the disease of addiction.  I am not going to rant as others have about how it is insensitive to other addicts to make such a big deal about this death because I don’t think that’s a realistic viewpoint to have.  It becomes a big deal because a) he holds celebrity status and b) not everyone is impacted by addiction the way that addicts or those close to addicts are.  That being said, for those people it is a big deal because this may be the only exposure they have to the effects of this disease.

What plagued me about his death was the fact that he had been clean for 23 years.  It is a serious wake up call for anyone who struggles with addiction and may have become complacent in recovery.  The disease of addiction does not “go away;” it is forever a part of me. I hope to never get to a point in my life where I think that I am better than this disease.  The fact that he was able to maintain a family, recovery, and an incredible career and STILL lose the battle scares the shit out of me.  I am thankful for that feeling, though, because without it I could easily become another statistic.

Fear is a very powerful motivator and it is often more prohibitive than not, but in this situation I am grateful for the fear I feel.  It keeps me in check and along the right path.

On a lighter note, I washed my hands the other night while making a kale salad and I found this after I dried them off.  I guess kale is returning my affections.

I hope everyone has a GREAT Thursday!!

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